Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I am cat. My only activities in a day includes eating, sitting around, playing with my owner who loves me. Waiting for someone to pet me. It doesn’t matter if I am fat, the humans will love me all the same.

Sometimes I wish I am a mermaid so I can swim away, free from all the poisonous words of others. Free to explore the ocean that’s full of beautiful creations of God, free to do what I want and free to be me.

Sometimes I wish I am a bird, with the ability to fly away anytime. I can fly high up into the sky and watch the world move while I bask in the beautiful sunlight. The clouds are my playgrounds and the trees are my pit stops. My wings are my proudest possession and my troubles are as light as my feathers and they disappear as soon as I spread my wings to lift myself up from the ground.

Sometimes I wish I was a fictional character in your favourite book. I was written to go through challenges but at the end of the day, I know you will always be on my side. You will read me thoroughly, get to know me, celebrate with me when I find joy, sympathize with me when I am hurt and understand me when I am angry. It does not matter what happen in the book, you and me will know I will have a happy ending.

Sometimes I wish I was someone else, so that I don’t have to keep listening to these hurtful words over and over again. Free from your judgments and expectations, free from your rigid beliefs in how my life should be like. Free from being stopped to do what I want to do. Free to do what truly makes me happy.

Sometimes I wish you can understand me as a person. And how I yearn for respect, care and love too just like any other human being. How I keep searching and redefining happiness, how I too feel like giving up at times.

Sometimes I wish you would give me the space and time to shape my own journey. Understand that I am struggling and lost, but its ok, I will eventually find my way. Understand that I have feelings too and that my heart need time to heal and move on.

Sometimes …………….. I wish things were different.

Photo taken in Nami Island, December 2014.