Registered!

7 June 2017

After attending the marriage preparation course in April, our next step was to register for a ‘kadi’ online and coming personally to ROMM for interview and registration. We had a timeline for everything so it helped us stay focused. We applied for kadi online even before the course but since I did not have any leave from work, we decided to do it during the school holiday.

Only le parents, le fiance and me here for registration. I am slightly relieved that it is just the four of us. There was no need for others to be present. Even though this was a well known fact, frankly I was worried if anyone else would want to tag along. It is not that oppose it, but I truly prefer to keep things small and intimate.

First time here! I was expecting that no one was around especially at ROMM since it was fasting month but there was a solemnisation happening. Thus, there were a lot of people in the lobby area.

Le parents who have been married for 37 years. They just celebrated their wedding anniversary in May.

After a short wait, they called Baba into the room first for interview. A few minutes later, we were called in for ours. Basically the Ustaz asked questions like ‘Are you forced into this marriage?’, ‘Where are you studying about the religion?’ etc. It was short and simple.

Sorry that I have to continue ‘hiding’ his face. It is not because he is ugly lol, please. He is very good looking ok, in my eyes anyway. Factually, he hates taking photos because he thinks he looks awkward. Imagine the stress he has to endure if I show his face to the people on my social media. I mean, I truly want to save him from having any anxiety about taking photos and showing his face will not help at all. Taking photos is already stressful enough for him haha, the least I could do is to ‘protect’ him from the public eye…….for now.

He does not have any social media accounts, except recently he agreed to create an instagram account (yes!) so that he can view what I post. I recently had to privatise my account so he will not be able to see it unless he is a follower.

Linda and the sotongs were so intrigued when I showed them the pics of his covered face. She said that usually people hide the bride but me, I hide the groom lol! Yeah, that is me, I defy and break traditions.

Meanwhile, my lovely fiance, you have less than 3 months to practice how to pose for photos lol.

Looking forward to our big day inshaAllah. It has been exhausting doing the planning. Yes, I did receive help and also some kind friends and family offered to sponsor various items for the wedding. I am thankful and blessed for the offer. I can’t help but wonder that a wedding is only a formality and it should not cause me so much stress. I have difficulties when the vendors ask me ‘What is your dream wedding concept?’, they wanted to help me create it. The thing is, I do not have a ‘dream wedding’, perhaps I had it when I was a child but that dream was long ignored and forgotten. I was shocked at the exorbitant costs involved in planning a wedding. Was I ready for this? Most definitely not.

I merely wanted a simple affair. I can’t help but feel that all the money could have been better spent on travel instead. Hmm…shall we just elope? Lol. That thought did cross my mind a few times especially when I am presented with constant unexpected challenges.

I had to realign my focus. My intention (niat) was to spend the rest of my life with this man, that is the most important factor. Everything else does not matter. Even if some plans do not materialise, it is ok. I need to remind myself to stay calm and shrink my chaotic thoughts. I really do not want any additional stress. Therefore, I really appreciate it if people don’t keep telling me what to do.

It is basic respect for the groom and bride when you allow them to make their own decisions, not imposed decisions. For us, it is a once in lifetime event.

Please make dua for us, may everything go well as planned inshaAllah. May we continue to have beautiful patience and clarity in making important decisions. May He makes it easy for us in this journey inshaAllah.