An overdue love story

I have been sitting here staring at my laptop for the past 10 minutes, trying to come up with a suitable title for this entry. I have not been blogging much these few weeks because life has been wonderfully hectic, so I am kinda feeling a little bottled and suppressed.

I have been wanting to write about this since the engagement day but just could not find a suitable time or words to describe what has been happening. It is not a bad thing, just something that is so not me. I can usually describe everything in such crystal clear clarity, but this time I am stumped.

Apparently a lot of people are shocked by my facebook and instagram post announcing my engagement. Lol. Everyone felt it was sudden and totally unexpected because no one had any idea that I was seeing someone. Some even asked me if I was forced to get engaged to be married. Lol. Funny, people.

I don’t think i am quite ready to write our story yet. Perhaps I will write it after we are officially husband and wife. Wait for it ok. However, I can share bits and pieces of it now. Also, because people have been asking me non stop since that engagement day. I had no idea so many people was interested. I feel like a celebrity haha.

Actually, I have known my fiance for almost a year. Last November, he decided to ask for my hand in marriage. Was I surprised? A little. Believe it or not, I was just about to end things with him because I was not sure if he was serious. I was terribly upset about some issues at that time and it took me a lot of thinking before deciding to finally speak to him about it. I was ready to leave but I knew that I would be devastated and broken hearted if that were to really happen. This was because I felt that even though our personalities were different, we had great chemistry together. A big part of me wanted this to work.

He is not a very verbal person and don’t talk much so sometimes it is hard to know what really goes on in his head. He wrote me a long message at midnight and I was already in bed. I have been feeling so dejected the entire day and wanted to simply sleep it all away. I guess I am so used to nursing and healing my shattered heart, it felt almost natural to slip in a cocoon and tune the rest of the world off. The heart whispers, ‘Another heart break, what is new?’ I was sure I was going to give up on love completely since it has done nothing for me.

That was when I received a long text message from him.

Let’s just say it made me cry. I reread it again and again, just to be sure that I am reading correctly. It has been so long since I last cried so much. Even when I was in acute pain from the slip disc in the hospital a few months ago, I did not cry this much. It was only then I realized how much this person meant to me. I did not know why I cried, frankly. Perhaps those tears were of joy and relief and all the frustrations from years of disappointments.

Alhamdulilah for all the calamities I went through. Every single challenge, every heartbreak, every pain I endured through, all lead to this. I finally found the person I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It was so difficult to even announce this news to family and close friends. I took a week to break it to the parents and a few weeks to eventually tell my close friends. The besties knew we have been going out but frankly, they were the only ones who knew. I have never spoken much about going out with him and I have never uploaded a single photo of him on social media. Some things are best kept private, that was the beauty of this relationship, no one really knew about it, not even the family.

I was pretty sure the parents were not going to be convinced if I were to announced it to them. Each time the topic of ‘marriage’ or ‘do you know how old you are now?’ came up, I would deviate to a different topic, like travel or work. It must be very frustrating for them to keep talking to me about this but I must say that since they have been nagging for like 10 years, I admire the resilience. Lol. You have no idea how I ‘tahan’ all the nagging seriously. I think I am skilled enough to even run a workshop on this. Any singles who face the same problem, name your price. I shall coach you. 🙂

Thus, I got him to announce it to them. In Singapore, we call this ‘tai-chi’. It always works especially when you have good negotiation skills with people.

On 12th February we got engaged. My sister in law here was one of the happiest and most excited when she heard the news. Lol. She even volunteered to be my wedding planner. No worries ok, soon you will finally have a brother in law.

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After 2 hours of make-up I could hardly recognise myself. Yeah I am often in sports attire and I don’t really bother to dress up or wear make up because I work in a ‘jungle’. This was a pleasant surprise. Thank you Kak Andriana who made me look pretty, I am sure it was a difficult job haha.

I wanted a small affair but the fiance’s family was coming in a big group and my family is big too so the whole event looks really big and crowded. We only announced it to the extended family 2 weeks before 12th Feb so can you imagine their surprise lol.

It was evident that everyone was excited, I think even more excited that me.

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My aunties from Mum’s side, who forced me to wear bracelet and rings before the event! Look how they surrounded me!

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My girl cuzzies. Not full squad. As you can see I am the eldest even though I look as young as them. (Mantra: Yes I do.)

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My 2 best buddies who have known me more than 10 years, (I think Nurul knows me for about 15 years lol) who are my official bridesmaids. It was an easy choice to make on who to choose. There was a time we believed none of us would ever be a bridesmaid for each other. The bestie and me was almost ready to spend all our money to travel the world till we grow all wrinkly and old. Thank you tolerating all my emo babbling for the past few months lol.

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I am also so thankful to my talented and creative auntie who assisted us in doing the gifts. She was also given such short notice but look at the beautiful things she created.

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The atmosphere felt good, like this was a reunion everyone has been praying and hoping for. It was clearly reflected on everyone’s faces.

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With my future mother in law who slipped the ring into my finger. I do not know why she was tearing so badly and while I wanted to comfort her, I do not know why I started to tear too.

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The gifts were so beautifully decorated. I told the fiance that it is ok if it is plain and simple. Thank you for all the effort. ❤

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All the tray gifts had this. A cartoon version of us and it is soooo adorable I love it! For now, this shall be the only ‘photo’ of him I will upload on social media lol.

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Thank you to my family for coming and also for helping us carry stuffs and clean the house a little. I truly appreciate it.

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Apart from Nurul and Fidah who will be doing the bridesmaid duties soon, I only invited 2 other friends, Joyce and Madeline. This is because they are my closest friends and have never ever stop caring for me even when they were going through challenges. I treat them like family. Thank you for always loving me (from when I was fat to slim and now fat again lol) and being my listening ear.

Madeline, my love, sorry you gotta let me go. Still love you nonetheless ok. ❤

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I had to rent tables and chairs at the void deck as our house was too small to host everyone and we wanted everyone to be comfortable. Hope everyone enjoyed the food. Thank you to friends and family who brought additional desserts to add to the table. And thank you for hiding it away from me long enough so I would not eat too much haha.

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Last but not least, to my immediate family, my parents, my brother and sister in law who assisted me in the planning of event and ensuring the smooth running of event. I knew it was such a headache because of the short notice and limited resources. This would not be possible without your sincere duas.

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Of course, not forgetting to my charming, yet shy fiance, who, in his own quiet ways has shown me how to care for someone without even saying it. Action is truly louder than words. My only regret is us not meeting sooner but I guess Allah swt has His own special plans for us. Thank you for loving me even though I am full of flaws. Through all the hardships, you are my greatest gift.

Looking forward to spend the rest my life by your side insyAllah, making joyful memories together. ❤

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Please continue to make dua of blessings for us, as we start on intensive planning for our big day insyaAllah.

Main photos were taken my FarnSarah Photovision, managed by my cuzzie and her hubby. Thank you for making all the photos so beautiful. You can engage their services by searching for the page ‘FarnSarah Photovision’ on facebook.