Biggest lesson of Ramadhan
You know what is the hardest part of Ramadhan? It is not the long hours of fasting or the attempts of reading and reciting the Quran, the standing in Tarawih prayers or even getting up in the wee hours of the morning to do tahajjud prayers.
The hardest part is realizing that we are our own biggest enemy. Acknowledging that our nafs are stronger than we think. Even though ‘the enemy’ is being locked up, they managed to leave pockets of influence all over us. It is a very tough and bitter pill to swallow, to know that we slip in temper, our impatience, laziness in ibadah is not because of ‘them’, but rather it is ourselves and the evil that has built itself within us.
And this year, I was very proud of myself for doing all I could. I was able to wake up earlier for tahajjud and this was the first time for me. It was so difficult to do this in the years before. I admire those who are able to do this easily. I admit that I have lots of shortcomings and I believe I can and will get better in this.
Not working during the month of Ramadhan was also a huge advantage. I was able to do all the sunnah prayers without rushing. There was no excuse not to do it. I was at home and had all the convenience.
Right before I started to feel complacent, I was plagued by this lower back / nerve injury. It was so unbearable, I was suddenly immobilized and had difficulties bending and moving around. It was totally unexpected. I was in pain from simply moving around the house, thus doing spring cleaning was a challenge. Nevertheless, to not disappoint the parents, I still did all the spring cleaning and housework anyway, just in a slower motion.
I truly had taken my health for granted. I was not invincible and I needed to learn that. It is so easy for Him to take away anything from me, I had to learn to appreciative and say my alhamdulilahs more often.
Even though being plagued by this injury was depressing, I was still able to pull myself up to do what I originally intended to do this June holidays. I was hoping to stay and heal quickly but looks like the Almighty has better plans for me.
Thus, this 1st day of Syawal, I am glad to be home to receive guest from both sides of the family. Staying home means I can minimise walking and still enjoy the company of the visiting family members. Alhamdulilah for this, He had planned everything so nicely for me.
As I gear up for a hectic work schedule, I am reminded that everything, my looks, my health, my wealth, my achievements are all temporary. My whole existence is temporary too, I have to make the best of it and not live life in idle ignorance.
What was your biggest lesson from Ramadhan?