Rediscovering life and doing the things that make you happy

In this blog entry, I write about things personal to me. While this blog has always been about travel and recording happy memories, I also wanted to use it as a platform to write and express myself. This entry, is one that I have chosen to write about things that are more personal.

So the bestie is gone for a vacation without me. I decided to stay in Singapore this June holidays because it is fasting month and I wanted to make use of this this time to declutter my space, reorganize my thoughts and recharge my spirit. I wanted to use this free time to bring myself closer to God. What better time to do than doing it in the month of Ramadhan?

The past 6 months has been extremely hectic and all I wanted to do was to spend time doing things I miss out. I wanted to rediscover myself. I started to reflect when I find myself collapsing in exhaustion at the end of each work day. Life at work was beyond hectic, and while I was still trying to cope with grief, I had to support those who were in grief too. I was too busy, that a lot of things were simply shoved aside.

Have you ever wished that time just slows down? Just a little bit, so that you can reflect and understand what was going on?

I was wishing for this the entire time. After partner’s sudden departure, I realized the importance of documenting my life. Document that I did not live this life just to work. Document that I cherish my family and I spend time with them. Document that I have heartwarming friendships with people. Document that I do all things that I am passionate about. Document that my time here, on this Earth was well spent. That I was not merely existing, I was living it the best way I know how.

Thus, I wanted to catch up on journaling, on blogging, on reorganizing my files, documents and thousands of photos in my laptop. I wanted every single thing that made me smile to be documented so I can look back and know that I did not live my life in vain.

At the end of last year, I started using Midori Traveller’s notebook . My schedule was too crazy and I was depressed looking at my planner so I decided to change it. I started to use it to plan and also to document daily events. I used to write things that I never wanted to forget. I decorate it because I wanted to cheer myself up and while doing that, I discovered how therapeutic it was do unleash my creative side.

I also use it keep sweet notes from my colleagues, as an encouragement to me especially when I am down.

This June, even though it was fasting month, I wanted to take time to do workout as usual. I made my way to the gym early one morning and did zumba and went on the stationary bike.

After much thought, I finally decided to give up my license to teach zumba. I have been contemplating to do this for the past 1 year mainly because I still love teaching zumba so much. Last year I was still teaching kids’ zumba and loved every minute of it. However, the condition of my lower back and knees seem to deteriorate further this year, leaving me with no choice but to make this decision.

This saddens me so much, imagine not being able to do something you are passionate about, truly heartbreaking. I shall be happy that I am still able to do zumba as a participant, even though I had to reduce the frequencies of my zumba sessions. I also had to give up kickboxing and that has been my love for the past few years. I tried doing once this year and experienced a sharp pain in my lower back so I think I better steer clear of it for now.

For now, I have embarked on stretching classes and dance classes that are not too vigorous. I can’t imagine not being able to dance, the one thing that has brought so much joy to me. Only in dance, I have the opportunity to forget everything and focus on moves. It exercises concentration and the adrenaline rush always makes me happier.

Another therapy of mine involves this baby.

Not working in June means that I get to spend time with her every morning. Snowy here, enjoys massages after her breakfast. I start work very early in the morning so doing this with her is impossible on working days.

I realized that I have not really had the time to do any major spring cleaning. I take such a long time to do this because I always take a lot of time going through past treasures and reminiscing it.

While cleaning, I found an old bag that was gifted to me by partner. She never fails to shower me with gifts to thank me for whatever favours I did her. After so many years of working together, she still make a big deal out of every help I made.

Still miss you, partner.

Doing spring cleaning means I could put my OCD to good use.

I am not a washi hoarder. I only have one box of this. 🙂

I took an entire day to clear and reorganize my desk at home, and another 2 full days to clear out my closet. The problem with losing weight, gaining weight and then losing it again is that I have accumulated a lot of clothes that I can’t fit into anymore. Some are too big whereas some are too small.

After all the spring cleaning was done, I finally have some time to do something therapeutic.

I have been wanting to do these handmade stickers for a while and I finally have the time to do this. Dip my brushes into much missed water colours and voila!

I also made use of the time to prep for the busy weeks ahead.

Looking at the busy weeks ahead, I wanted to do this in advance.

Having all the free time at home also means I have time to cook and bake. Some experiments, like this salted egg prawns, succeeded.

I can only bake one type delicacy when I am busy working but this time I had more time so I tried out milo cookies. It turned out ok!

I was also able to try out chocolate chip cookies and this time it was so good, it tasted as good as the famous amos cookies!

The usual bake, honey cornflakes is of course not forgotten. My friends keep telling me to keep aside some for them. Lol.

At the end of the day, I was happy with the bottles of edible end products.

Now I just need to make sure I don’t finish eating them all before Eid!

Another thing that I looked forward to was to help mum in the kitchen. The magical thing about Ramadhan is that we get to eat together as a family. We usually don’t do that because our days end in different timing. By 6pm, I am usually helping mum set the table, or frying food in the kitchen.

My mum is truly the best cook! (Reason why I am fat.)

On weekends, I look forward to spending time with my little niece. I only have one niece for now so let me pamper her because I love her so much.

My best accomplishment this June has got to be this. Being able to perform solat, both the mandatory and the optional. I wanted to make full use of Ramadhan to spiritually recharge myself  God and alhamdulilah so far.

I am still far from perfect and of course a lot more could have been done. It scares me that I may, or may not meet the next Ramadhan. Death is nearer than we think. Each time I feel pain in knees, or in my lower back, I say to myself ‘ Ah, this are signs of aging, and thus I am getting closer to my death everyday.’

It is also scary to read all the crazy happenings around the world. Sometimes I think it is better not to read the news. How blessed am I to be staying in a country that is safe and I am free to practice my religion and faith. I cannot imagine our children and younger generation growing up in world full of hate. There is no way we can protect them from all the bad influence, we can only educate them.

اللهم اغسلني من السلبية

Oh Allah wash away my negativity.

May we be protected and shielded from anything that is harmful to us. Looking forward to the remainder of Ramadhan and may we race to do all the deeds this month has bestowed upon us.

Alhamdulilah and thank you for the opportunity this June. I have been reminded that doing the things I love helped me rediscover myself and kept me happy this June.