Homesick

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There’s something about homesickness that maybe doesn’t include four walls and a signed lease. It’s a wave of loneliness that I find hard to breathe under. The place of a house isn’t a homelike feeling at times, and you find yourself wanting someone there. It’s an unsteady feeling, being alone. 

So, maybe home isn’t a kitchen or a shower, but a pair of arms and heartbeat ….. and if that’s the case, I’m homesick for a place that doesn’t want me to come home. – E. Grin

I have been emotionally unstable for the past week. Usually being crazy busy at work does the trick to help me forget, but this time I find myself in the mood to do nothing at all. I have no appetite, I have been having anxiety attacks and nightmares, I underestimated my capability to keep myself stable and level headed.

Of course I think about the future too, of course I worry, who wouldn’t worry when all I can is this foggy view in front of me. I am lost, I can’t see where I am going too, but I am going to trust His plan and wait here until the path before my eyes are clear enough for me to march forward.

“And put your trust in Allah swt if you are believers indeed.” Quran:5:23

Therefore, please give me some time and space. I may not reveal my true feelings from my expression but I need some time to recover from your hurtful words.

I miss being free and happy………………I hope to be back to my usual bubbly self again. I will be back here to write about my time in Switzerland soon, insyaAllah.

Photo taken in Rigi Kulm, Switzerland.