“But the moment you start thinking of yourself alone, absolutely alone, and related to nothing and to no one, you realize it’s silly to worry and fuss over what you are. You are simply what you are. And you feel as if you had closed a door forever on everything that’s unpleasant.”— Nick Joaquin, The Woman Who Had Two Navels
I am sorry if you think I am not good enough. I am well aware that I am full of imperfections stitched carefully together. I have accepted it. Why fit ourselves into the ‘required image’ that is decided by society? Why follow ‘traditions’ and stereotype people? Why? Why? Why?
Yes, like the above quote, I do think of being alone a lot. I don’t do it on purpose of course, it is in my subconscious. It is always lingering in my mind. If you ever catch me tuning out, it is because I am trying to organize my messy thoughts while throwing out unwanted thoughts that will only result in making me feel bad.
At the end of the day, I feel like all these don’t really matter. Let me live life on the edge, accept whatever that is fair that comes my way, strive towards what I love and enjoy this journey. Because when I witness the kind of scenery unfold right before my eyes, all my insecurities vanished and I, once again, become the tiny speck of human in the vast universe.
Why put me down and remind me of my imperfections?
Counting down to one more month before I escape to these kind of sceneries once again.
Photo taken in Jeju Island, South Korea in June 2013.