What you can do for your single friends

When Gan first texted me and asked if I was free for lunch early last month, I knew I had done for the right thing. He requested that both Joyce and me meet him and his partner for buffet lunch at Carousel.

Normally I would turn down social gatherings on Sundays because I really hate missing my favourite dance classes but this is one invitation that I cannot refuse.

The whole story started about 2 years ago. I was sent to ARC for in-service training and that was where I met Gan in the class. There were about 25 people in the class of AEDs from all over the schools and only 5 of us were seniors, as in we have been in the service for more than 6 years. The rest of the class population was mainly from batch 6 and batch 5. ( I was from batch 2.)

So after a few classes, naturally I grew close to some of them. I guess you can say that we grew close from our joint battle against tests, projects and presentations. I am happy to say that our friendships lasts till today, as we discover more common joys and interests together.

Out of everyone, one guy stood out for me. He was this quiet chinese guy (the rest of the class were pretty noisy) who did not talk a lot, but when he speaks, he speaks with depth. He was humble and displayed gentlemanly behaviour, a quality that I rarely come across.

I still remembered when he approached me for the first time, trying to strike a conversation with me, multiple steps behind his classmates who were already joking with me. He always asked me about how my work was in school, and how I could survive so long in this profession, where leaving was easier than staying. Through all the questions, he always seek advices from me, and the respect that he has shown for me, as someone more senior than him in this profession, was admirable.

One day when we were out for lunch together with some of the ladies, he actually waited for all the ladies to sit down before sitting down himself. Wow, where have this kind of species been in my life.

After several conversations, we found out that we shared the same birth date! Yes, same date! Except that he was a year older than me and even after knowing that, he continued to talk to me with such high level of humility despite being older than me.

I was impressed.

I found out that one of our classmate has been trying to matchmake him with girls but he was having a hard time because Gan was too shy. Lol.

One of my friends for gym had almost the same personality as him. Quiet, shy, sweet with a wonderful personality. Coincidentally they were both were of the same age and they both could play the guitar.

It hit me. I should get them together!

So I went to Joyce, Jo’s good friend of many years and asked if Jo was single and if she was looking. Joyce immediately gave me a green light, even before checking with Jo! LOL.

So I asked Gan if he was interested to know my friend from the gym, I thought with their similar personalities, they would be able to get along great. Gan was more than happy. I did told him that I can only passed her contact number and the rest was up to him. My only advice was for him to be friends with her first, and not rush into anything.

Well, guess what, 2 years later, here I am excited to hear the news about their upcoming wedding! Wow! I was right and I am good!

Of course this success was not entirely because of me, they had to know each other, work hard to learn about each other and finally put their faith in each other. I guess that is what you call fate but even for me, a big believer in fate, know that at some point our our life, we have to take action.

We cannot just wait for things to happen. If we want something, or see something we like, we have to go out there and get it.

I am one of the happiest people to learn about this news.

I truly believe that this is one of the best things you can do for your single friends. Some of my single friends have colourful personalities and a good heart, it makes me wonder why they are single. The truth it, its not that easy to meet someone these days. Often, we are tied down by our hectic lifestyle which usually result in decreasing energy to go out and socialise. Therefore, its good to keep a lookout for them because who knows that one small act may rippled into seasons of happiness in the future.

Its the same with me. I jokingly told Gan that he needs to keep a good lookout for me too. I am still single here you know! While I am happy with my life now, there is always that empty spot reserved for that special someone. I have remained single for many years but I have not been dateless. I have gone out on dates with guys, usually recommended by friends but it always turned out mundane. There is no chemistry or it just does not feel right. Dating becomes a chore and I was pretty sure that I was not with the right person. Its not that I was choosy, hell, even if I was, I think its perfectly acceptable because here I am searching for someone to be with for the rest of my life. I cannot simply accept any guy that comes along my way.

Therefore, before you matchmake your friends, do get to know them better too. Please never ever randomly introduce people you barely know yourself. It has happened to me several times and frankly I was pissed. I was single but I was nowhere near being desperate.

Please take some time to understand the difference.

Anyway, I was glad we finally has some time to sit down for lunch and share a couple of meaningful conversations. It was Joyce who gave both Gan and J the ‘talk’ about married life and while I tucked into the yummy prawns and salmon.

Frozen yogurt, something cold and sweet to end off the eating marathon. Who says I am not in love? I am in love with this frozen yogurt and the rest of yummy food. 

Thank you to all well meaning friends who are more eager than me to get me hooked up with a guy. I hope your intentions are clean and clear. I hope no one misunderstands. I am not sad. I am happy with my life and I am genuinely happy to see friends getting married and having kids. Do I envy all that? Perhaps, slightly. But most of the time I am too busy living my life to the fullest to even notice that I am alone. Yes, that is introverted of me but that is also who I am. I really hate to be tied down or restricted but I have no intentions of staying single all my life.

I do not wallow in self pity or neither am I in a hurry to hunt for the ‘perfect man’.

So, if you are single, and you envy those who aren’t, I hope you stop it. Stop feeling bad. Everyone has a customized path in life so why should we even compare ourselves to others?

Never ever feel like you worth lesser, just because you are single.

If you want to be happy, be happy now. Why wait?