Dear little me….
Dear little me,
Smile. Even with that chipped tooth of yours. Hiding your smile behind the your shadow will prevent people from falling in love with you. Yeah, I know you think you are ugly. You wish for bigger eyes, longer lashes, sharper face, silky hair, slimmer body. You wish for healthier skin, not one that was infested with acne. You wish you can look in the mirror and smile because you are happy with your own reflection. You wish you can fall in love and be happy with yourself. You wish you can, and you tried hard, I know. But its too difficult. You take a step back and hide behind your own shadows, masked your colourful personality with darkness and secretly wish everyone will go away and leave you alone.
You wish you were smarter, you wish you have bigger talent in art that you love doing so much. You wish you can do mental calculations in a jiffy, you wish you can understand concepts as fast as your classmates. You wish you can see a passing mark in your test papers. You really hate seeing the ‘See Me’ message that your teacher wrote on your test papers. You realised its hard for you and you work twice and sometimes triple harder than your friends. But you hide it all, you dont want them to think you are dumb, you stay silent behind your fears, no wanting to express.
You wish you were healthier, you wish you were not so clumsy, tripping and falling down every now and then. You wish people will not laugh when you fall down, you wish they would empathize and help you up instead. You wish someone had quickly brought you out of danger when the big lorry was approaching you while you drown in your own panic. You wish they would see that its not funny, and that your life was in danger. You wish they were more mature.
You wish you could see a brighter future ahead of you. A future where you are loved and accepted. A future filled with smiles and laughters. You wish you could see a future paved with opportunities and success stories. You wish you could see the world in a better light, and tell retell the story to the rest of the under privilege world. You wish you can give hope and inspiration to someone and that someone’s life was better because of your presence.
Little me, let me tell you. Your wishes were not wishes. They were prayers and in the future, they were answered.
You will be able to smile and show off your teeth. People will be pleasantly overwhelmed by your smile and laughters fill the room whenever you are in it. You will not have bigger eyes, longer lashes or sharper face but you will be contented with how you look. You will look in the mirror and finally be able to say “Hey, I look good today.” You will be able to accept yourself and you will be happier.
You were always smart, but the smarts were always undiscovered. You will still suck at math but you will discover the joy in words and literacy. You will fall in love with words and sentences and you will have the power to impart skill and knowledge into special kids. You will turn their worried frowns into joyful smiles. You will hold their hands and tell them that its ok to fail, and that its more important to try again and again until they succeed. You will tell them that you used to fail too, and that will give them the glimmer of hope that they need. They will believe you and hold you to your words, occasionally they will forget your advices and give up, but when they see your face, they will be reminded and they know you are there with them. They will be thankful and appreciative to you and you will feel a sense of accomplishment that you will forever cherish in your heart.
You will discover your talent in writing. You will surprise yourself with the ability to write poetry. Your will realise that your talent is not in using big words, but rather to write from the heart. People will read your written words with amazement and joy, complete strangers will thank you for writing and your friends will tell you how much they are touched by your words. You will realise that writing is your strength, hidden all this while because you were too busy focusing on your imperfections.
You will be healthier. You will pick up enough courage to try new things like dance and doing workouts. You will hate the struggles but you will emerge victorious. You will lose the excess and unwanted weight, and inspire others to do the same. They will come to you in gratitude and you did not even realise that while working towards changing your own life for the better, you changed theirs too.
You will fall madly in love with dance, because during dance you transformed into a different individual that moves in unison with the music. You will be surprised to look at yourself in the mirror, and see a dancer, previously trapped inside.
You will encounter some challenges with your heels, knees and your health in general but you will have the faith that it will recover. You will be careful and it will make you appreciate life so much more after these challenges.
You will walk with your chest up, you will walk where you never imagined you can. You will witness mountains, lakes and seas that are so breathtakingly beautiful, it makes you see life in a different light. You will appreciate your life more and you will write your experiences and stories for others to read. Others will tell you that you are lucky, but only you know that its not luck, it was a leap of faith.
You will have the bright future you dreamt about. You will be an important person and bread winner in the family. You will be an accomplished individual at work and most important of all, you will the friend that everyone look for in good times and in bad times. You will go through poverty, battled obesity and acne, depression and you may have thoughts about suicide. But, you will be stronger than demon inside you and you will successfully toss all those negative thoughts into oblivion.
You will live every day of your life to the fullest. You will be happy and you will also remind others to be happy. You will live your life with deep faith in Almighty and even when things go bad, you know its all part of His bigger plan. You will realise that the lorry accident was never meant to happen because He plans it that way, so that you can appreciate how precious life is.
Little me, you will be someone you are proud of. You will be able to finally look in the mirror, smile and tell yourself “This is me and I can do whatever I put my mind to.”
This entry was inspired by this music video. Photo taken in Mount Soraksan, Sokcho Korea in December 2012.